Alone in Love

Are we not all alone in our own feelings of love? I'd say, mine, could be described as: warm and longing... kind of like being in a coma- constantly dreaming of romantic fantasy- yet they rarely if ever exist in real life. I'm pretty sure if I was in a coma someone would have put a really warm blanket on me of course ;)... if not- it is not my kind of love.

The things people do.

Yesterday, I took three shots of pure Vinegar... absolutely VILE..   

Yet.. still better then the time I downed an entire bottle of Prune Juice...

Not my finest moments.

What's your Name?.. Does it Start with an A..?

So. I name stuff. Did anyone know this about me?

Traditionally my computers are all called Halcyon, although I believe one of them was called Silicon. I named all the stuff on my desk at the CIL Lab at one point- even the stapler. At the Service Desk I named the Paper Shredder, George Foreman. Whenever I wanted something shred though, I'd walk up to the student support and make a chomp motion with both of my hands and make a weird nom-nom noise.I ended up with a lot of blank stairs, Riley was always the funniest about it, the confused and 'too stubborn to do it when he understood face' was totally worth it.

My car is named D'Artagnan, I call him Dart for short. There is a little passenger Gorilla that lives in the car cup holder, his name is Avalanche. I have a stuffed floppy dog that I use as a pillow at night, he is Dagger.
I had a little stuffed husky dog named Beta, but he was confiscated from Customers for suspicion smuggling more than just stuffing, unfortunately in proving himself innocent, all of his entrails become his entrails and he has never been heard from or seen again. Last summer I won a large stuffed Husky, to fill the missing space in my heart, his name is Delta.
I've got a stuffed Lion from Build-A-Bear, he has a heart and everything so his name is, Koishii, which means 'beloved' in Japanese.
My most awesome mountain bike is named Sarge, which is funny because the bike is blue and everybody who is anybody knows Sarge is Red....
My most recent X-box was Lopez, My first X-box was named Elsa. I have come to believe that all X-box 360's are diagnosed with cancer before they are sold, all having a limited time to live.

I have a fake bear rug, and I'm quite sure he had a name- but for the life in me, I don't remember it & same with the huge snake that is now escepading in North Dakota with my cousins children... How about.. I make a memory with you- whomever you are. We shall name the Bear Rug and the Snake-thing together! Firstly the Bear..

How about, Blackie.. he's a black bear!.. no? Charles?.. mm not unless he looked more like Picard.. Claw..? Fang?.. Kage? hmm, what is the name of the mortal combat guy with the claw.. meh I can't remember. oooo I know, Blanka from Street Fighter! Yep. Welcome to Blanka!

So I already decided I'd just go ahead and call the snake, Dakota, seems rather fitting as that has been his home for over a year now. 

Wasn't that fun? I had the privileged to name a couple of my friends cars too. Jon's car is named Penelope, Ali's jeep is known as Libby or Libs.

Ali has informed me that I forgot the most important stuffed animal of all. McCaramel / McGinger (depending on what comes out of my mouth). He's just a huuuuuuuge stuffed bear that sleeps with everyone ;]. He even gets to fly some times!

Moral of the story: I'm usually pretty entertained.

Confessions:

This is going to come out really random because, I can hardly think in more then one sentence at a time at the moment.

Ready? Set? GO!
 _________________________~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~____________________

I feel old today, I felt old yesterday too
The mountain bike rocks. GET IT !?! But I've been too busy to do it much
Hahahaha...
I want to play battle ship
I couldn't find my wallet this morning.  I lost my phone at Lagoon this weekend. It's now in the mail.
I don't get a lunch today.. my car is close.. and has some beef jerky in it.. I want some.. but how to get outside? Trapt. Oh wait. I went outside and got it. Mmm. Beefy
My relatives are crazy, I mean seriously- for real crazy
I have serious short term memory loss/retention problems
I also need to get some new glasses because man, I'm bliiind
I'm pretty confident in my organs at least, but no one can have them. Thinking of being cut open- even after I'm toast, is just sick and wrong
I want a dog, but not just any dog. I want an AKC black and silver, female German Shepherd. OR A mostly caramel face coloured shepherd.No mutts, no males. ( have to get the female first if you want to breed them, I'm not going anti-male-kind)
I have things do to at work, that I cant even begin because I don't know where to start
I've been listening to classical music all week
I'm broke. If I paid off my CC I would have +3 dollars or something. I'm probably going out to eat for dinner.
I'm going to Lagoon again tomorrow. I spend a lot of monies
I'm high maintenance
I expect a lot from people and usually get let down
Never had alcohol in my life, but i do pour rubbing alcohol in my ears some times!
I'm planning a backpacking trip for Europe next year with a friend, and I'm super excited
I don't like to hurt peoples feelings and tend to go out of my way not too
The muffin man is a lie
I have a lot of really close awesome friends, but I don't talk to them very often
I have been pretty confused lately, but now I'm found, doing the 'right' thing, is generally not the 'easy' thing I know I've read that and said that a lot, but seriously totally true
Most of my friends are married. I'm not and I'm okay with it, but some times I wish I could just order a husband. Medium rare, a little rough around the edges but pink on the inside. I'm pretty sure I just compared a husband to a piece of meat...
Water is hard to swallow since it doesn't have flavor, so I really like the little juice packets that are made for pouring into water bottles..


My thoughts don't normally tend to jump around so much, but these are things I think about some times!

Good times @ work.

So, I started a little game at work. Someone kicks a story off by writing an opening sentence on a piece of paper, fold the paper so the sentence is covered. Then they write the first word or a few words to start the next sentence, and pass the paper to someone else. This repeats until the little paper is filled.

So far since last Wednesday, we have completed 4 stories. This is the best one so far. ~

Once upon a time there lived a happy Gnome. He was ever so devious and created many objects which he sold to the Information Technology department, like for his Soul, which he sold for a million gigabytes of memories from his past love life....Oh how he missed dancing the Cha Cha in public for money! Those were the days, women flocked from all around just to see him dance!

Some times the women would bring their babies to Captain Kyle for approval of cuteness. If they failed the test they would be exposed for the illegal aliens they really were. So to prevent the unfortunate fate of deportation they decided they had to find the cure or they would never get over it. With sporks they distracted the masses while they began running and running and running back to where his mother came from. He found her and kissed her passionately for several minutes as the moon floated the night time sky and the stars glittered like millions of diamonds. However, this went unnoticed by Superman who sat idly by sipping on lemonade and day-dreaming of better times!

The Bearded Epiphany

I would like to note here, right off the get go- that I in fact -

1. Smiled @ a stranger :)
2. Complimented some friends - yesterday. THUS! I am indeed off to a fan-nominal start to my; Best Summer EVER!

With this out of the way, I would also like to proceedeth.

So, it is no hidden, secret, the fact that I am not  really dating much... or have ever really done much dating... ALSO I do believe it is common knowledge to my Friends that I have no concept/natural ability to "flirt."

Very few have probably ever heard me mention that I find a man "sexy."  Let me assure you, I find MEN, amazingly attractive.  However, the common words; Cute, Sexy, Fit, Hot,  or Beautiful just don't come to mind when I see a guy I think is; Attractive, Gorgeous, or if I'm not caught off guard by his rugged good looks just, Handsome.

Today, it came to me, why this is. Like a child discovering mixing blue and Yellow make Green. Everything becomes clear! Clearer then the glass cups you leave in the dish washer to try and get the remaining soap residue off!

Let me share a story. It is very short, I am very short. This works!
____-Story-____
Today, at work I was sitting at my desk minding my own business, when in comes an handsome man. I think to myself, as I have before, he's pretty good looking-aww he even has eye smiles! (Eye smiles are the lines/wrinkles some peoples eyes make when they smile! ... I looove them!)

So- he would like his password reset, I can do this a few ways but i will just cover
1. Verifying his date of birth - 1974....

You do the math, he would be 12 years older then me...
----End

There have been laughs here and there, with me finding men with facial hair gorgeous or even just, attractive. I've seen the same men without facial hair, and - really most men NEED it. Some can pass without, but for the most part, it's essential for my unconscious attraction to them.

This, I have known- it is FACT. Proven, researched-test-KNOWN and not what I realized.

Here are some things I considered.
Russell Crowe - Gorgeous (Only w/facial hair)
The Poop-Dave -  Handsome -  However, should never-ever-ever grow facial hair

Liev Schreiber - Glorious (Even w/o facial hair~)
Gerard Butler -  Lovely (5am shadow preferred but not necessary)
This one Guy I'm thinking of - but will not be named (only Ali knows.. maybe Doug if he remembers) - Attractive ( Should not be allowed to own a razor, only a pair of scissors to keep it neat~)
This one Professor - Good Looking (unless clean shaven)

The Guy I mentioned Earlier

Okay, I'm out of good synonyms that I would potentially use, and I really don't follow actors at all, but for the sake of the easyness of picturing these people, there they are.

Aside from the facial hair requirements- which I may add are different for each individual, they are all significantly older. I'm not going to even figure out how much older, because it is irrelevant. 

This is my Epiphany: I find older men attractive, more attractive then men my own age. Face value, no words spoken- the silver hairs in their side burns get me I guess. They add to the character that I don't know of him, but it draws me to want to know more.

I do however, find some men my own age endearing, a few attractive or handsome. Yet for the most part most don't WOW  me right at first, and it isn't until I get to know their personalities that they then become, the-stop-me-in-my-tracks-stunning-status.

So since women live longer then men (apparently?), I better find an older-looking-than-you-are-Russell-Crowe-LDS-lookalike !!

Summer is so Naeice!

I are proposing the best summer ever to be held, wherever you are!

During the amazing summery days of 2011, the week shall never be the same dull 'days of the weeks' again! No! There is a revolution and from now on each day is the day of AMAZING.

Also, feel free to change the days to fit your needs, or change them each week to add to your fun.

These days however, will be dubbed here after and throughout the summer as:

Monday: Smile at a Stranger & Compliment your friends-Day

• I couldn't come up with anything grand, besides face it, I'll be working and going to FHE hopefully so I won't have much time :P if anyone has any ideas lemmiekno!

Tuesday: Paint the Town Red! Do something SPONTANEOUS and inspirationally creative-Day!

• Ideas include but are not limited to, side walk chalk, cross stitching, prank someone at work, (please to be nice pranks or at least those with good humor.. I don't particularly want to be blamed for bad stuffs) having a pogo stick race down a hill, painting a picture, playing bigger or better, caroling to unsuspecting persons, visiting an old folks home to play bingo, donate a kidney, plant a tree, write a story.. whatever!

Wednesday: Service Day

• See a need, fill a need. No matter how great or how small- be the one, to git'er dun.

Thursday: Play like a child & Neighborhood night games-Day

• Mostly, I just want an excuse to run around a playground pretending the ground is lava and buy a slip'n'slide!

Friday: Game Night/ Movie Night-Day

• Thinking this should be rotated every other week, but in all reality doesn't almost every night spent hanging out with friends end with a movie? ...mystery science theater 3000 will happen for some escpecially if I'm forced to watch twighlight.. you know, it's really too bad that such a good word has this unfortunate association :\

Saturday: Get thee outside-Day

• Camping, canoeing, jumping in puddles, hiking, canoeing, playing with dogs, visiting graves, throwing water balloons, kickball, ultimate, tag, sleeping outside, bonfires, planting, playing with dogs, canoeing, walking around town, catching bugs, playing sports, frying ants, playing with dogs... SERIOUSLY, does life get better? I submit that it CANNOT!

Sunday: Worship as you will, but make some super good Sunday Dinner-Dayness.. oh yes, and if you have time Disney movie and a Nap!

• Invite your friends, your neighbors to have sunday dinners together, rotate who makes it, take some sundays off- see your family, but whatever you do, don't forget the Disney Movie!!

Spittle of life.. get your own.

Is it just me, or is it really strange when you hear that ringing noise in your ears. "They" say, or so I've been told, that it is due to damage that your ear drum has received. Does this mean, my ear is experiencing overload, and is backlogged- hearing a collection of sounds I've heard recently, echoing in my ear again all at once?

So I've decided, that I need something. Not the, "we should do something," something, but a special me sort of something. Talent, ability, thing-that-I-do-to-pass-time.

The only problem is, I'm not really good at things. I am pretty alright at trudging forward, provided that in front of me there isn't one of these: 

    

I'm not particularly good at art, I took ceramics in college.. I got an A, but I'm pretty sure it was due to pity. That and possibly, that my roommates boyfriend had taken the class before, and "helped" me make some...

I did a lot of drawing in elementary, and I was good too! A few years ago I was asked by a professor if I had drawn a cow on my homework, I quit shortly after as it was in fact a train. 

Writing wont do either, I never know where to put these silly commas, so I just, put them where-ever, I wants. Besides my handwriting would only prove there are NO females on the internet, but since we have WORD, my secret is safe. All that aside, no one can convince me that "color" is the "correct" spelling of the word colour.

I tried playing the Trombone in junior high. I played that about as good as I could blow a conch shell.. basically I succeeded in producing a constipated whale noise.. or at least what one would assume that may sound like. My mom gets payed to teach piano students. She tried to teach me, but ended up paying me to stop.

I took Japanese for a little bit in high school, but moved to another school and started taking German. I took two years, about all I can tell you is my German is bad, mein Deutsch ist schlecht. I'd probably just go around saying that if I ever went to Germany- but then again why would I ? They all speak English waaay better then I do anyway. 

Well.... I am good at sports! Or, I was good at sports. I'm pretty decent. The only problem is, how realistic is that? I can't go around playing Dr. Dodge or Capture the flag every day by myself....

I can, in fact, cook by myself. I may become fat, but I will be AWESOME!

Maybe I could work on dribbling a soccer ball, and eating a burrito at the same time.

I can play video games, I'm alright. I only died over 150 times in the Original Zelda for Nintendo,, like last week. Yeah, I know.. it counts your continues.. how mean is that? I am a pretty decent human couch weight, I love to watch a good movie. However, once watched, never to watch again,, unless of course it's Gladiator, because Russlle Crowe is just- serious business. 

Soooooo......

This is mostly a ridiculously long disclaimer, and pretty much all just to say: I'm going to try some things- I'm not going to be good at them, I'm pretty sure I'm going to fail, but failblog brings other people smiles. Those who witness my glory, and misfortune will probably get a lot of laughs. Unfortunately, real life tends to be more-awesome then words on a page.. so for those of you near me, feel free to point and laugh. But hopefully and maybe- MAYBE, I'll find some kind of hidden something, I never knew I had.

Moto: The four sided Rubik's cube will always leave her hanging. 

Moto: Snoticles gotta melt some time.